Pregnant? Considering Adoption? A Bond of Love Can Help.
At A Bond of Love Adoption Agency we know the difficulty and confusion of finding yourself unexpectedly pregnant. Should you find yourself in such a position, no available option presents an easy way out. Abortion may seem to provide a fast and easy remedy, but you may feel deeply uncomfortable with this choice. A majority of women, in fact, choose not to exercise it.
At A Bond of Love we believe that God has a special plan for each child whether the pregnancy was planned or not.
Carrying a baby through birth and completing an adoption plan stands as an act of most extraordinary courage and love. Perhaps no gesture expresses motherhood in its most purely loving form.
Of those who choose to have the baby, over 95% parent the child themselves. However, becoming a mom, whether married or single, involves a tremendous commitment. Often school and career plans get derailed—permanently.
Frequently young women, their family and friends, know very little of what the adoption process involves; and that little knowledge tends to be more misleading than informing. Adoption has changed dramatically in just the past decade, significantly improving the process for all parties: the adoptive parents; the child; and particularly the birthmother. For decades before the 1980s nearly all adoptions were confidential, or “closed” – adoptive parents and the birthmother were kept strictly separate and secret from each other, with records permanently sealed or “closed.” Until the 1960s, the vast majority of children born out of wedlock, particularly to teen-aged mothers, were placed for adoption.
In those days birthmothers who chose adoption for their babies were given little or no choice of adoptive parents. During the 1960′s and 1970′s, however, women were given greater personal control over unplanned pregnancies through birth control and abortion on demand, while at the same time the social stigma of being a single mother largely disappeared. Rather suddenly, far fewer babies were being placed for adoption.
But infertility affects as many as 15% of all couples; and though better treatments for infertility are now available, about the same proportion of infertile couples continue to look to adoption as a route to building a family.
The current great surplus of adoptive parents often enables a birthmother, if she desires, to choose amongst a group of prospective adoptive parents. While some birthmothers still prefer the privacy and simplicity of confidential adoption, many now participate in selecting their baby’s adoptive parents.
The active role that a birthmother may take in selecting her baby’s adoptive parents is discussed in this website, along with other topics of vital concern to pregnant women considering adoption:
- Financial aid in dealing with lost wages and increased medical, transportation, clothing, and other costs of pregnancy
- Counseling: the uniquely powerful need for it throughout the adoption process
- Legal rights and responsibilities, including the birthfather’s
The young mother cradled the baby in her arms one last time before handing her so carefully to the baby’s new mom. The young mother, braced against the onslaught of guilt she expected at that moment, was almost stunned when what came was mostly relief. This baby, wonderfully healthy and happy, would always be her baby; but now she was placing her into the care of people who would love and protect and provide for her, as she herself could not.
Parenting the baby had never been a possibility; but she had tended her so lovingly throughout her pregnancy that she knew the baby had gotten the best start possible, and now had the promise of a happy future. I have done the very best I could for my baby, she smiled inwardly.