What are my open adoption options?
If you’re reading this page, you may be trying to figure out what an open adoption means and what your choices are. It’s important that whoever you decide to work with respects your wishes. You have the choice of working with an adoption agency or adoption attorney. Many women choose adoption agencies when they don’t have a family in mind for the adoption of their child. There are other benefits of choosing an adoption agency. However, let’s talk about your choices in adoption plans for now.
There’s three choices for adoption plans, open adoption, semi-open adoption and closed adoption. Most people do not choose a closed adoption however this is your choice and your adoption plan.
These options describe the relationship you want with your child’s adoptive parents. It’s our role at A Bond of Love Adoption Agency to help you explore adoption plans through education and counseling. We can then show you families that share the same desires in an adoption plan. This step helps to ensure that when you choose a family they honor your wishes in the adoption plan.
Open Adoption
Communication – Direct Contact
You may want more direct contact with the prospective adoptive parents. In an open adoption, you not only select the adoptive, you meet them as well. Usually before giving birth and with your adoption counselor present.
Updates
A fully open adoption includes communication, photos, and even visits. Typically communication occurs through an email or phone number. The adoptive family may send photos and letters/emails as updates for you.
If you decide on face to face visits with the adoptive family and your child they occur once per year. This is something that you would discuss with the adoptive family to arrange. Your adoption counselor will be present in the beginning conversations. However, in an open adoption you may communicate independently with the family. If you’re considering face to face visits with baby and the adoptive family, it’s important to consider how you may feel following those visits.
Ethical Practices and Support at A Bond of Love
It is important that both parties are open about what they want. Otherwise, it’s impossible to be happy with the outcome. Imagine holding back on something that you want to see for your child? You’ll feel a certain way about that later. That’s why it’s so important to find an ethical agency. A great counselor will listen to you and help you to communicate what you’re feeling.
Frequency
How often you communicate depends on how open or close you feel with the family. If you’ve created a great bond, you may want to email for updates weekly in the beginning. You may feel compelled to have the adoptive parents or mother there with you when you give birth. These are all your choices. An adoption plan allows you to decide what you are comfortable with doing.
Ability to Send Letters, Gifts, and Other Tokens
How you decide to move forward is also a journey that varies. For some woman, they need to detach and “let go.” While others feel better sending letters or gifts to their baby. A token should always be given without requiring a response from the adoptive family. This allows them to introduce items to the child at age appropriate times. As a child is not able to deal with the emotional complexities of these relationships.
Semi Open Adoption
Communication – Indirect
You still communicate with the adoptive family. This is the biggest difference between a fully open adoption and a semi open adoption. The communication is indirect, meaning that the updates you receive will go to the adoption agency instead of to you directly. You would come to the adoption agency to pick them up or we could mail them to you.
Updates
You still receive updates as in open adoptions.
Pick the family
You pick the family for your child. You can make any special requests of the family and we’ll help find families that match what you’re looking for.
Send gifts
Just like an open adoption you can send gifts for your child. We help by sending them to the adoptive family.
No identifying information is shared
The adoptive families location, last name and identifying information is kept private. This is one of the differences between an open and semi open adoption.
Closed Adoption
Privacy
Many different relationships can develop between you and the adoptive parents. A closed adoption is confidential. Meaning that you are choosing not to release any personal information. This also means that you would not have access to any information about the adoptive family. You would also not have information about your child as he or she ages.
Choose the family
You can still select the adoptive family based on their profile books. Or you can choose to have the adoption agency pick the family. For some people, privacy is extremely important and they choose a closed adoption.
What’s the most common adoption option?
Closed adoptions were common over 20 years ago. Because of that people tend to believe that they are still common today. That is very untrue. The most common adoption plan is semi-open adoption.
Special Requests
You can ask us for any special requests of the adoptive family prior to selection. This includes racial, ethnic or religious backgrounds. You may prefer to have a family without children or with children. Those are all examples of special requests that are up to you. We work to meet your special requests as exactly as possible.
